Diary of a 19-Year Old
I know. I’m very hard to talk to. I realise that.
I know. I said I was done with whining. I realise that.
I know. I will look at cable lines and just keep looking. I realise
that.
I know. I’m holding on to some figment of my imagination. I realize
that.
I know. I will hold this closer to me because it’s all I have
left. I realise that.
I know. I will never completely let it sink in, because I’m scared.
I realise that.
I know. I will stop doing all the things we did together,
because it hurts. I realise that.
I know. I will hurt myself in so many ways because you aren’t here to stop me. I realise that.
I know. This seems to be all about me and my inability to handle this. I realise that.
I know. I come across as self-pitying, selfish, sentimental
and just plain emo. I realise that.
But.
We know. That they will never know. That they will never
understand. That they will search everyday for this. They realise that.
So let them laugh. Because
living is messy. But I will run away to Venice
some day. And you will be there waiting for me.
Question: Do they have internet where you are?
[Image: http://www.gracekadams.com/personal.html]
I love you almost as much as I love this. Just realized that.
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